The more I see and feel together the more skeptical my thoughts get. Meaning the division is greater and greater, but, they are united in one thing: my children.
I gave each child a 20 sec. Plus hug last night and while doing so I prayed and hid what I truly felt with a placid intellect. When I retired to my own bed I was so sadden by the reality that neither child was actually mine. If anyone wonders what love is, that "anyone" is not me. I do not love my spouse, though I have tried and prayed almost constantly for years. I am mortally dependant on him, but could change that although he seeks to thwart me. I explained it to Joseph as being trapped, but realizing it is only a pumkin shell.
I truly love Joseph and Mary, and in the film Love, Kennedy peace was found in moments where a greater plan was realized, though admittedly such realizations often caused considerable pain they also brought peace. At one point "Kennedy" says, "If the Family always chooses the right, we will be together." That is why families are sealed and basically why we have temples altogether.
In my master plan to unite my heart and my mind, I must include sealing those children to me. I love them, no, it is not the pitocin talking. I know them and love what I learn.
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