Joseph is very mad at me, he told me that he was going to kill his daddy. I got mad back and told him firmly that we do not kill anyone, but I said that about bugs and let Nick kill one. So, he reasonably doesn't believe me.
I told him that I was sorry that I got mad, and gave him a hug and told him that mommy loves everybody. He hugged me but then said, no you can't. You can't love bad guys because they have guns and will kill you, but first they will kill Mary and then me, and ydcou will be mad.
I am familiar with a similar situation and had a deeper respect for loving forgiveness.
I told him that I loved him so much that I would not let any bad guys kill him. It was my job to keep him safe, and if they got me, I couldn't do much, but, I would do whatever I could, and if it was the last thing I did at least he would remember that I did love everyone, even the bad guys. But, most of all I loved him.
He was getting very violent and mean, I tried everything and anything to try to change his disposition, but he started hitting Mary Anne, too. And I told him that we did not allow that. Or, at least I didn't and it really didn't look like there was use for me here, anyway so I said that I was going away, and I hugged them both and said I loved them and actually that calmed him down. It wasn't any trick, I was serious, he Hugged me and pulled as hard as he could on my sweater begging, "Please, do not Leave me, mommy." Ofcourse, I couldn't then.
He taught me many lessons, but the best was that I did have an effect though much less influencial, no obviously influencial. But, I was leaving an impression and when he grew up and had to choose who to serve I will have planted enough seeds to grow a fine garden, though not obvious yet, my teachings were true and finding a place in his heart.
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